Worship and being The Church

I just went to a ladies get together on Friday that met in a coffee shop,it was organised by a church I know that I once did think was ok.
I sat next to the pastors wife,she called herself a pastor also. I said how my friends and I go to coffee shops to meet and we consider that as church,she told  me that unless I have an ordained pastor with us and  we worship/sing or pray in tongues, that  it isn't church. ( I pray inside my self anyway unknown to her) so by her definition what we did on Friday wasn't it.
I read a story about  martyr ,a man in Egypt a Christian Copt who was walking along the road,he was asked are you a Christian ?,he answered yes. He was then shot in the head,this was witnessed by another man.
was that yes worship?
was He The Church?
I was so shocked by this woman's take on The Church,it has been a long time since I have encountered  such a narrow view,which is something to be grateful for at least.
I felt that what happened on Friday was still church even though I had a very unpleasant experience  I felt battered and bruised by being subjected to that woman's constant views on things which I found painful and obnoxious ,but I didn't get shot in the head at least and I can now think of using that experience as worship if it ever happens to me again.
for suffering is worship.